Falling in Love with You

Have you ever watched a scary movie? You get all upset when the character doesn’t see the murderer standing right there. You tend to say things like, “They could’ve used that as a weapon!” or “Why would you run that way?!” Truth is…Life is kind of like a scary movie. When everything is happening so fast, you don’t notice the little things.  You couldn’t possibly see the progress in your life, because your’re standing too close. Sometimes you have to step outside of your situation and watch your life as a movie. I recently took my own advice, and I’ve realized a change in myself. I noticed I started talking different, thinking differently, and even walking differently. I’m learning to be more positive, I still have good days and bad days. I no longer walk with my back hunched over. I’m becoming more aware of my posture. These changes may all seem so small, but they’ve made such a big difference in my confidence.

I figured it was time to take it to the next level. Discovering self love. I’ve been asking friends, family, and even strangers their opinions on self love. I have gotten so many different answers. Slowly, I began creating my own definition of self love… Here goes..

It’s not something you can buy in the store, or something someone else can give to you. It’s not something you can find in a relationship, or in a new job. It’s not outside of you, it’s deep inside. It’s not believing you’re perfect, but understanding you’re not and still knowing you are  enough.  Self love is

being happy and not needing anything, anyone, or any circumstance. Just being happy with you, as you are in that moment. That’s it. I believe we’ve already been given love, it just becomes “self love” the moment we accept it.

Let me know your thoughts on self love, and don’t forget to subscribe!!!

First Heartbreak

Hi all. This post is a little bit different than my others…dedicated to a special someone..you know who you are.

Sorry to keep you all waiting. I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately. Though that’s no excuse, I just needed to get my thoughts together. This post is about feelings, because they actually make me very uncomfortable. If you know me, you know I am not a very emotional person. I come from a place where being emotional means being weak. I’ve noticed that being emotional doesn’t make you weak at all. It takes a strong person to put themselves out there in that way. If anything, I was weak when I avoided relationships, and commitment. I was just being a coward, because if I didn’t open up how could anyone hurt me? I want to apologize to those I hurt…in the process of trying not to get hurt. Guess karma really is a bitch.. I experienced a break up recently, and I have been having so many different feelings. At first I was afraid to let my emotions be what they are. I was afraid I would be judged as “the dramatic weak girl”. I realized I was the only one judging me. I finally gave myself permission to feel, and I began healing faster.  First thing I felt was anger. I always said I would never cry over a guy, and there I was …crying! I would like to apologize because I never got to say goodbye properly. Second thing I felt was insecure. Funny how people can make something all about them, when it really has nothing to do with them. Third thing I felt…well feel..is sad. Sad because there was a loss. I’ve had time to think and there was also bright side. I’ve grown in many ways, but boy do those growing pains hurt. I’ve  learned a little bit more about life, relationships, and most importantly me. Yupp I said it, I understand me a little bit more. So thank you Marc. Hope all is well, and wish you the best on your future.

So this post isn’t a scorned woman post! It’s a post celebrating life, feelings, and more importantly self love. So cheers to my first heartbreak!! I’m sure there are many more to come. Don’t forget to subscribe and share your uncomfortable experiences!!!Talk soon!

A perfectly good plane

Hi all, hope your weekend was lovely. I spent the weekend celebrating my 25th birthday! What better way to celebrate living another year than to risk it dying? I went skydiving, because why the heck not? I didn’t start to get nervous until I made it to the actual skydive place. The wait was long, and I just couldn’t stand the anticipation. My crazy ass went alone, and even though I came alone I didn’t feel that at all. There were other people waiting to jump as well. Everyone showed support to each person on their walk to the plane. I’ve learned that strangers come together when they’re equally afraid. I’ll fast forward to the part where I jumped out of a perfectly good airplane. The ride up I started to feel nauseous. So many thoughts racing through my mind. “what in the hell did I do?” “how did I end up in this tiny plane with these four strangers?” “Lord please don’t let me throw up on this man.” The pilot started the countdown.  I started freaking out on the  inside. My instructor informed me it was time, and opened the door. That’s when I really wanted to cry. I could literally feel the wind  blowing my face. I can’t really explain what happened next..it’s just something you have to experience yourself. I went from feeling complete chaos, to feeling pure bliss in a matter of seconds. It was an amazing experience.

I find myself referring back to this experience whenever I feel afraid to do something. I tell myself, ” you jumped out of a plane!” just to make whatever it is I’m afraid of seem small.  I think everyone should try it at least once! I promise you won’t regret it!!! I went to East Coast Skydive, and the staff was very friendly.  It’s located in West creek, NJ If you would like to try jumping one day! Don’t forget to subscribe, and shoot me some comments on your uncomfortable experiences!

Twerking is NOT dancing

Hi all, hope your weekend was full of uncomfortable excitement! I decided to take salsa dancing lessons this weekend. I don’t know if any of you know this,but I am not confident in my dancing abilities. I have no rhythm at all. I mean..catch me with some alcohol in my system and maybe I’ll find the beat? When I go to the club I just twerk. I’ll be honest, I’ve even had a few guys push me off of them because I was twerking off beat. Enough embarrassing myself, my point is twerking is not dancing!

I’m the girl who steps off the dance floor when the Latin music comes on…. the girl who kindly declines the fella wanting to dance face to face. “No sir, I will probably step on your feet, and possibly trip over my own.” “I’d rather just rock out with the running man, or possibly this stiff ass robot.” I’ve tried to watch YouTube videos on different dances, but  I just got frustrated and quit. I was scrolling through Groupon one day and saw this 4 week pass for various dances. I figured what the heck, why not? Salsa was on the list, as well as ballroom, waltz,and fox trot. I’m not going to lie, I have no idea what the hell a fox trot is, but I’m going to find out. Sooo…back to my experience. I had a really good time and met a lot of nice people. Granted, they were all old enough to be my grandparents, but nice people. I actually remember a couple of the moves from the class. I’m super excited to bust them out on the dance floor. I can go from the girl who declines the dance to the girl who invites someone to dance! Okay guys don’t forget to subscribe if you haven’t already!!!! My birthday is coming up and you don’t want to miss updates on the upcoming  activities I have planned! Hopefully I don’t die trying to do them, but if I do just know I died facing my fears!!! Okay talk soon!

Parking Wars

Hi all, hope your fourth of July was a good one. Since I was running around all day, I figured what better time to practice parking? Before I fill you in on my experience let me give you some background information. I’m a shitty driver. haha…okay that’s probably all the background info you guys need.  In  the past I have backed into two different mailboxes on two different occasions. The result? Me being scared shitless to back in parking anywhere! I figured if I could face my fears of backing in parking, I would actually create an opportunity to learn how to do so. Simple right?  The first place I backed in was shoprite. You should have seen me screaming in the car. I tried to start out far away from other cars, but since it was a holiday the parking lot was packed. Oh  my goodness, I was a hot mess. I even caught a man staring at me out of his car window. He was probably thinking, “why is she screaming?” ” Why is this taking her a whole 5 minutes?” “Is she on drugs?” I wish sir, I wish.  As the day progressed, I still did not get better at parking.  I backed in everywhere I drove. I even backed in wawa, one of the busiest parking lots I have ever been to. I figured since I didn’t  back over a small child by the end of the night, this was a win! Maybe after like a full week of backing in, I  will be a pro! I could even try parallel next! Just kidding…. not shooting for parallel yet. Don’t forget to share your uncomfortable experiences on the road! If you have any tips on excelling at parking drop some comments below! Talk soon.

The Journey to my authentic self